I Hate Those MaryJanes
by what the face
Summary: Slight NP/RB. Rachel, angry at Puck, corners him into the male toilets, where the two witness one of Finn's most embarrassing moments. T for language, that's all.


**I Hate Those Mary-Janes**

Noah Puckerman and Rachel Berry

* * *

There it was again. That incessant clicking of polished Mary-Jane's across the slick tiled floors of McKinley High. Noah Puckerman slammed his locker door with both hands, closing his eyes, hoping that the noise would go away. It drove him absolutely insane, and he couldn't even explain why.

The clicking increased rapidly as she came closer. He tried to get away, glancing quickly over his shoulder as he attempted to inconspicuously duck in the male toilets. Once inside, he crossed to the other side of the room and leant against the wall, wincing. He'd gotten away. He'd done it.

"Hello, Noah."

_Oh, shit. _

"Whilst I was observing my locker today, I happened to come across something that I have many reasons to believe you are responsible for."

He let out a deep breath. "You mean looking. Do you even know how to speak like a normal person?"

"Of course I do. It's not my fault that along with my superior singing voice I also happen to maintain a superior vocabulary. I use it, unlike lesser people who continue to use slang."

Puck rolled his eyes, much to Rachel's annoyance. She opened to her mouth, her rather large, obnoxious mouth at that, to no doubt berate him with her sharp words again, but paused to gently sniff the air around her. "Does it smell like this in here all the time?"

"I'm sorry we don't carry around rose scented soap, Berry," he spat, just wishing that she would shut up. Maybe he could barge on out of there, astounding her with his badass-ness. But inconveniently, she was blocking the door, and Puck's mother had always taught him to be polite. Somehow, hitting Rachel Berry with a slushie almost every second day didn't seem impolite to Puck. It was just needed.

"Hurry it up. I have dweebs to pummel."

Rachel nodded, seeming to accept this. Then she obviously remembered why she was there. She strode toward him, carried by her anger. "See, that's just it! First you empty slushie all through my locker, and then you excuse yourself because you have to pummel somebody!"

She jabbed her finger at his chest, and he actually flinched. She reminded him of his mother. "You're- you're an excuse for a human be-"

The toilet door opened, and for an unknown reason, Puck grabbed Rachel by the elbow and pulled her into the cubicle with him. As soon as the door was locked, he wrenched his hand away from her skin as if it had poisoned him. They pushed themselves as far away from each other as possible.

The toilet door shut, and then they heard them: footsteps. Puck leant to the crack in the cubicle door, peering through it just in time to see his best friend, Finn, prepare to, as Puck would say, take a piss. Puck immediately moved away from the door, trying to block out what he'd just seen. Rachel was oblivious to who the intruder was, she was so occupied glaring at him. He ignored her.

"_I made it through the wilderness…" _came Finn's distinctive voice, accompanied by the sound of, well, piss. "_Somehow I made it throoough..."_

Puck's eyes widened, and when he looked at Rachel, he saw that she was trying to hide a chuckle. Her face was turning slow red. "_Didn't know how lost I was until I found yoooou…"_

Rachel pressed a hand to her mouth, her anger for the moment discarded. They listened as Finn zipped himself up, skipping the next verse, probably because he had forgotten it. _"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time!"_

Rachel let out a little squeak, and Puck glared at her, although trying to control his own laughter. _"Like a viiiiirgin, when your heart beats… next to mine!" _His voice squeaked on the last note.

"I'm takin' a shit in here!" Puck said in a loose interpretation of Coach Tanaka, while Rachel actually sank to the ground, laughing.

Finn stopped dead, and then almost ran to the door. "I-I'm sorry, Coach. Won't happen again," he apologised anxiously, slipping a bit as he pushed his way out of the bathroom.

Puck and Rachel finally let out their laughter, almost falling out of the toilet cubicle. Puck was laughing so hard that he accidentally pushed her, and in a quick reflex, caught her by the waist. All too hastily, they stopped laughing. Suddenly, the air between them became heavy, and Rachel looked up at him from under her thick black lashes. Her eyes didn't have wrinkles, not like all those MILF's he'd gotten with. He found himself admiring them, not daring to remove his hands.

After about thirty seconds, Rachel remembered why she was there. She stepped out of her grasp, smoothing her clothes and glaring up at him. "Empty another slushie in my locker, and I will personally make sure you never get a solo in Glee Club, _Puckerman_."

Big threats. Big threats.

Dramatic as always, she turned on her heel and marched out of there, her head held high, and her Mary-Jane's clicking as she walked.

Puck ran his fingers through his Mohawk, watching her- okay, watching her ass- as she went, all the while thinking that those infuriating shoes wouldn't be so annoying if they were on his bedroom floor.


End file.
